Well, well, well

Well, well, well...someone figured it out.  This is where the secrets all get stored.  This is my little sub-blog where I'll be keeping some weird and not-so-weird information.  I'll update this page accordingly so other folks can see it if they manage to find it.

 

10/21/22

 Change is good.  Holding on to bitter moments from the past, but trying to let go.  The future is something better.  LLAP

 

10/7/22

I really don't enjoy the fall.  Mostly because it reminds me that winter will be here soon, and I hate winter time for the most part.  The best thing I can do is keep my internal fire burning with activity.  Also, really having a time getting this music out.  So much to do to get things finalized!

 

9/11/22

What is the balance?  There is an idea in yoga of three gunas, or modes of existence.  Rajas, sattva, and tamas.  Tamas is negative, lethargic, chaotic, and dull.  Rajas is full of passion, selfish, driven.  Sattva is the balance.  It's that place we find creativity and excitement without burning ourselves out or driving ourselves into a pit.  We possess all three in different quantities.  The goal is to keep rajas and tamas in check and strive for sattva.  Easier said than done.  I get angry like anyone else.  I try not to deny my anger, but channel it instead into something useful.  If I deny my anger or stew in it, I'll fall from rajas into tamas.  When I can channel it effectively, I use both sides of the battery (rajas at + and tamas as -) to move forward.  

I recently had to sort of press pause on a friendship.  It hurt to do, but it was hurting me deeply.  This person wasn't so much hot and cold as they were mild and freezing.  It was causing other relationships in my life to suffer.  I was finding myself angry, but didn't want to lash out at them because I didn't want to hurt their feelings.  It's not productive to always answer pain with more pain.  What happened instead was these feelings in the state of rajas quickly consumed and burnt through me. It left me resentful and falling into that negative and slow tamasic state.  Even though I wasn't directing it outward, I was still answering pain with more pain.  However, it was my pain just doubling down.  I decided I needed to make a change.  As much as it hurt me to possibly hurt someone else, I had to try my best to be clear and still supportive.  I'm still hurting, but instead of falling deeper, I am using that energy to propel me closer to a state of sattva.  I'm carefully throttling those feelings of rajas and tamas as evenly as I can to maintain that balance and a place fulfillment.  It's not easy work, and I'm not great at it.  I am learning, and practicing as I go.  I hope other people are able to do the same.  Live long and prosper.

 

8/24/22

I used to think about killing myself.  Thankfully, I don't do that anymore.  Sometimes I do think about another version of myself thinking about killing themself in another dimension.  I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

8/17/22

Chakras.  I talk about them when we play and online.  I talk about them when I am teaching yoga.  I genuinely don't know WHAT I believe about them, but I think there is something to it.  Are they energy fields that certain parts of our bodies produce and tap into?  Are they clusters of nerves and vital organs that produce something on their own by physical nature of human function?  Are they simply points we created around some vital organs to sort of cue into thoughts and feelings?  Kind of like a focusing point for our brains.  I am totally fascinated by the idea of chakras. What do you think?

8/16/22

Loss/sadness.  Short post on this.  Are you feeling a bit of sadness at a change or loss of something not so much because you will miss it how it is now, but because of how it was.  I think that's a pretty common feeling among humans, but for some reason we forget about that when we are in the middle of a change or transition. 

8/4/22

What about the idea of two Earths?  Like the planet is splitting in two, metaphysically speaking.  A new section is forming and leaving the old behind.  Some folks will stay on the Earth as it was in the 20th century and before.  Others will go on to a new version.  Eventually one half will just forget about the other.  I was reading/watching some Dolores Cannon stuff, and this is based on one of her crazy theories.  Maybe it's not so crazy?  Have you ever just completely forgotten about someone you met before.  Not just their name, but completely have no remembrance of them at all.  Is that you forgetting because they weren't important enough to you, or because you weren't operating on the same wavelength?  I recently "met" someone that says I know them and we've talked before.  They even had my phone number.  I just can't remember the meeting at all.  Also, I don't drink that much, and I don't do drugs, so where is this coming from?